I’d always been curious about what it’d be like to sleep with an older guy and recently I got a chance to find out. I’ve had many enjoyable sexual experiences in my life, but none have left me so satisfied, so invigorated, as a night with a man 15 years my senior.

1. THE ATTRACTION WAS IMMEDIATE. The second I saw him, we locked eyes and I knew that I wanted him and he wanted me. It was lightning. I’ve never had that sort of primal connection with someone. He was so confident; I watched him talk to other people and I admired the way his brow furrowed as he listened. I loved the way he brought his drink to his lips. I wanted to be that drink.

2. WE WEREN’T SHY ABOUT LETTING EACH OTHER KNOW HOW WE FELT.I started to purposely walk by him on the way to the bar or the restroom. As I passed, his hand brushed my waist in a nonverbal “hello.” Any excuse to touch each other, we took it. We were in a professional setting and we had to network with other people, but there was a definite energy surrounding us.

3. I WAS EQUALLY ENTHRALLED WITH HIS MIND. As the night went on, I listened to him talk. He was educated and cultured. He liked obscure novels and films and he seemed like a bit of a nerd (totally my type). He was the opposite of the men my age I’m used to conversing with. He had accomplished things, was successful, and had even more goals to check off his list. I was infatuated with everything that came out of his mouth.

4. HE WAS HONEST AND UPFRONT AND MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE WASN’T EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM ME. When he finally made the move, it was like nothing I had ever felt. His kiss consumed me and I gave it right back to him. Within seconds, I was on top of him, moving against him. Suddenly, he stopped, looked me in the eye, and told me we didn’t have to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. I was so surprised by this- that it only made me want him more.

5. HE TOOK HIS TIME. In the beginning, it was urgent. We kissed so deeply and forcibly that I was afraid I was hurting him, pulling his face to mine. As we navigated each other this way, he slowed down and started to appreciate my body as I discovered his. That alone made it the most rewarding sexual experience I have ever had. I’ve never felt so free and unashamed of having sex or so open with a partner that I didn’t even know.

6. MY NEEDS CAME FIRST. Not only did he take things slow, but he was also less concerned with how I could please him and took his time making me feel things I’ve never felt before. As a twenty something, I’m more than used to sleeping with men who rush through the finer parts of sex to achieve their orgasm. This wasn’t the case with him. He actually cherished me in every sense of the word, and this made me feel comfortable enough to tell him what I wanted, something I’ve never been able to do before.

7. HE MADE SURE I WAS TRULY SATISFIED.And once I was, he tried to repeat the process. What?! I was so surprised, I almost laughed. It was so sexy and it only made me want to please him more. He barely gave me the chance.

8. IT WAS INTIMATE. If you haven’t gathered this already, although this was a one-off experience, he made it so touching and sweet that it felt like an embrace between old lovers. I felt so satisfied and renewed by him. I felt like a sexual being. He made me feel beautiful, sexy, wanted—all of those things at once. During and after, he was whispering in my ear, telling me how sexy I was, how much he wanted me earlier in the night, and how happy he was that we were together in the moment. It was so, so hot.

9. FOR ONCE, I WANTED MORE.We fell asleep, a tangled mess of arms and legs. I couldn’t let him go. Needless to say, I walked away from him the next morning yearning for more. He walked me back to my car and on the way, he stopped me in the middle of the street for a kiss. I wouldn’t let myself admit it, but he got to me in a big way. Without truly knowing him, I think he’s a special person, but I also think that his age and maturity had a lot to do with it. His experiences have shaped him into an excellent lover, and while I don’t know how many of those are out there, I encourage you to look around and give it a try.

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